| April 18, 2013
Coachella: Hacks

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Use Coachella to your advantage. There are plenty of festival mechanisms you can exploit to make your weekend experience all the more better. Warning: some of these hacks require a certain…shall we say, “moral flexibility.” But if you’re willing to stow away your conscious here and there, you’ll reap the benefits.

1. Lost and Found
Upon arrival, immediately “lose” your stuff and check it into lost and found, and when it starts to get cold go back and get your jacket from the bag you left there. Basically free lockers.

2. Back of the Bathroom
Go to the back. The way back. This is so amazingly clutch. Sometimes, especially when larger shows end, the bathroom lines are horrendously long. When entering any bathroom area immediately head towards the very back. You will see white trailers, and in them are glorious, clean, air-conditioned bathrooms. Score.

3. Meet Me at the Speakers.
Use the speakers systems as meeting points. At the different stages you will notice that the speaker towers are labeled (B2,A3, D4, etc.) Use these to coordinate with your friends to meet up should you get separated.

4. Enter Stage…?
Enter the main stage from the left side and the Sahara tent from the right side. The way the stages are positioned creates a very noticeable flow of the crowd. If you can manage to break out of it and enter the stage from the side opposite of crowd flow you can get a lot closer and be less crowded.

5. Conquering the Outdoor Theatre.
Getting close to the front of the outdoor theatre stage is easy. Just go to the left of the stage where you will see a fence separating you from the concession area. Follow that down the hill towards the bathrooms and just take a right and you will find yourself in front row.

6. Ramp it.
Don’t be afraid to use the disabled people’s ramp on your way out. The crowds leaving can be stifling. On each path there is ramp on the left meant for disabled people. A lot less people walk on it, ya dig?

7. “Recycle.”
Is some pesky girl sitting on some dude’s shoulders and blocking your view? Simply reach down on the ground and pick up some empty water bottles and chuck them at her. She’ll get the hint. If the dude’s big, pretend you don’t know where the bottle came from when she turns around. You don’t want him to have to prove his honor. Nobody does.